Any Middle School Cafeteria

I remember middle school. Not fondly, of course, but I do remember it.

I remember the cafeteria, too. I must admit, I don't really remember it that well. I mean, I remember the tables, but that's probably because they were the same from elementary through 8th grade. I don't remember much about the food, except that there was a food line and a snack line and the snack line has milkshakes. I think.

I remember how when a middle school kid got mad she'd lash out at those around her with lame barbs and comments. You know, like fat jokes and fart noises.

Well, I've never really wanted to revisit the middle school cafeteria. It, however, has decided to visit the restaurant list.

I recommend you read the comments under Smackie's and BJ's.

I could delete them, I guess. I mean, they're pretty mean-spirited. But they are so ridiculously uninspired and lame that i'd rather everyone read them.

People, these were written by an adult. When I read them I assumed it must be a joke - someone making fun of Anonymous posters by posting the most juvenile comments they could come up with. But, as it turns out, they're real!

I love it!! I don't know when I've been this entertained by someone trying to lash out and be tough.

Oh, wait. It was middle school.

The Point

I forgot that the point of this blog was to list restaurants to which I haven't been but want to go.

I want to go to Smackies

Rubio's is the Slam

Whenever we went to Rubio's, Angie would dog on some nachos.

We don't have any in Columbus, but you should eat at Rubio's the first chance you get!

Taco Hell

Had Taco Bell for dinner. It was okay.

Here are two interesting facts I think you need to know:

1. The new Beefy Cheesy Melty Melt or whatever is just a giant meximelt
   
2. The Taco Bell website gives really good nutritional information
   

So you know exactly what you put in your mouth. Yikes!

Tacone

No, I haven't eaten here. 

Yet.

Two days ago we got our new Yellow Pages, so, obviously, I flipped through the new books looking for anything, well, new. I do this every time we get new books as I'm sure everyone else does.

I just look through that front part which lists all the fun and fascinating things to do in town and the menus towards the back. I mean, I'm not a freak or anything.

I found one restaurant which looks pretty good. It's called Tacone.

They sell sandwiches, quesadillas, wraps and smoothies.

Mmmmm....smoothies.

If you invite me to go to Tacone's with you, I will surely say yes.

And, when you pay, I will say thank you!

Not Quite as Big as My Head

Angie and I went to La Bamba's to grab dinner tonight. You remember La Bamba's, right? It's the burrito place on campus touting burritos as grande as your cabesa. 

There's now one on Georgesville Rd. It's been ther for less than a year I think. You may ask yourself why, but you shouldn't. 43228 has the densest population of spanish speakers in Franklin county.

Here's what we ate:

Burrito - I opted for the regular burrito with the beef/pork combination. It had meat, beans, lettuce, onions, sour cream and cheese. It was pretty good in that "I shouldn't be eating this" kind of way. 

Super Nachos - Nachos, yes. Super, no. However, these actually were as big as my head. They're no Applebee's. 

Taco Salad - Angie ate this and she's upstairs so she can't comment. I just remember that she likened the meat to something she would have eaten in a school cafeteria. 

Here's why we ate it:

Chipotle's was too crowded with a line almost out the door. 

A Critique

I saw this online this evening and I couldn't let it pass without remark. You can read more here.

Clearly, it's a spork that has been upgraded to include a knife. Typically one uses a knife with a fork. And I mean one in each hand, not the two utensils mutated together as one.

How is the knife any more useful than an un-serated fork tine? I don't understand.

Maybe I am expected to hold the food with my hand while I cut it? Maybe I am being too critical. Perhaps I'm not thinking outside of the box. Whatever it is, I hate the super spork!

Any thoughts?

Chipotle...

... is still freakin' fantastic.

FYI

Don't Go To Jimmy V's

I visited Jimmy V's in German Village twice over the past week. Both times i left feeling sort of blah. I don't mean I felt sick or anything, but rather than I felt underwhelmed and underimpressed.

The first time I went with Angie, Mom and Sis. We sat on the back patio and I had...crap, I don't remember what I had.

Sis had the gyro, Angie had the Philly Panini thing and Mom had food of some sort. Who knows.

Oh yeah, I had the chef salad. It didn't stack up to the salad at Perkins which, taste and quality-wise, may be Jimmy V's closest competition.

The second time I went with Angie, Nikki, Miranda and Ted. I had the chicken Parmesan panini, Angie had something, Nikki had the cheeseburger - which I will discuss later - Miranda had the Penne ala Vodka and Ted had the gyro. We sat on the front patio.

The back patio is better that the front and they're both better than inside. If your going, you should sit outside for the generally enjoyable experience of eating outside. The food is not good enough to endure a poor dining atmosphere.

Oh, the food. Miranda's past tasted like a cheeseburger (I don't think on purpose), Angie's panini tasted like cardboard and my panini tasted like chicken on bread minus all the flavor, but the real kicker was Nikki's burger. Nikki took of the top bun to check things out and found a puddle of oil. Enough oil that everyone at the table gasped when they saw it. Nikki was a trooper and tried to soak up the slick with her napkin. She did, but the cheese, of course, came off with it. She ate it, but I wonder how long it stayed in her stomach with all that grease attached.

Sorry for the visual. Sorry Nikki that I involved you in it...

I think Ted summed it up best when he said, "I'd say this place is a solid 5 [out of 10]" I have searched the internets to see what other people have said and it seems that other people like the place. It has 4.5 stars at both CitySearch and Yahoo!Local. And that's out of five not, like, 14 or something.

Maybe everyone fills up on the signature martinis until they don't care what the food tastes like. That's my working theory.

BJ's

I had high hopes for this blog:

1. I would write often
2. Others would write often
3. Posts would be thorough
4. People would read it
5. It would introduce readers to new places to enjoy

Well, I can't do anything about 1-4, but I can introduce a new local restaurant. OK, it's not local; it's a chain. And, I guess it's not new but, rather, new to the area.

It's new to me and it's great. BJ's serves a variety of food I guess, but I have only had three items:

1. Pizza: deep dish and soaked in garlic. Its like a pizza dream come true.
2. Bruschetta and Artichoke dip combo: drool....
3. Pizzookie, Pizooky, Pizuki?: I don't remember how they spell it, but it's a giant cookie baked in a personal-sized pizza pan and topped with vanilla ice cream. It's really tasty.

If you've been, let me know what you think.

Benny's

Cheese steaks = Good

More later.

UPDATED
Kate took me to Benny's for a late lunch while I was sick about two weeks ago. As I so succinctly stated earlier, the cheese steaks were very good. I must admit that not being able to breath definitely lessened my enjoyment, but I would certainly make the drive again.

Benny's is located in the Kroger-anchored strip mall on Avery Rd just north of 161. You can't miss the sign. It says "Benny's," so, unless you can't read, you should be able to find it.

Pita Pit

The Pita Pit is opening this weekend on High Street next to Bob's Bar.

I hear that they're offering free food Saturday and Sunday!!

UPDATE
I ate at the Pita Pit a couple of weeks ago. More specifically, I ordered food there and then ate in the car while I waited for Angie to get her hair done.

I had the shwarma which, loosely translated, means meat and fat shaved from a giant rotisserie and served on a bun. It tasted just like the kind of food I would get in the bazaar in Iraq. Which is to say that it is very poor quality food that tastes wonderful!

I haven't been back, but I would like to return. I recommend it.

Noodles Accomplished!

I finally got to go to Noodles! Sis, Kate and I went on Saturday.

It was pretty good. I got the Bangkok Curry which was only ok, but Sis got something that she really liked (Mushroom Stroganoff, maybe. I don't remember) and Kate got some Japanese noodle deal that she really liked, too.

They serve flatbread (which is very good) and giant rice krispie treats (I didn't eat one, but it looked good).

I will have to go back and try something else. There was a lot to choose from, and I think I can do better.

Noodles

I haven't been yet, but I really want to go!

Bear Rock Cafe

Nikki took me to the Bear Rock Cafe (BRC) after church on Sunday. (I went with her to Xenos, which is not a cult)

From the outside it looks like that coffee shop on Lane Ave near North Star. Do you know the one I mean? I always assumed that the BRC was just a coffee shop, but NO! They also serve food of all varieties.

Anyway, it was just like eating at Panera except for the following:

• Panera has better food (esp. Bacon Turkey Bravo!)
• BRC serves Mello Yello!
• BRC serves something named "Sasquatch"

I ordered the "Make Your Own" combo - called "You Pick Two" at Panera. I had half of a chicken salad croissant and chili. The chicken salad was not as good as my beloved BTB, but it was good and they gave me the whole sandwich, not just half, which I, of course, liked very much.

Panera serves a baguette with the combo, BRC serves a crappy roll, but also a bag of chips.

They also serve a loaded baked potato thing, but Nikki and I didn't try it. If that's your thing, you might enjoy the BRC.

All in all, it's an OK joint. If you're shopping at Graceland and need a place to eat, there it is.

Or you can drive a block south and eat at Panera.